omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
