but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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