i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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