Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I just threw up on my dentist
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
