I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
