and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
