What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Found your dick twin last night
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
