I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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