i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
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