I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I just gargled with NyQuil
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize