Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
