Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
