Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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