i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
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