Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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