i just wanna soil my oats bro
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
All the doctor said was why
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
