Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
