You really coming over, don't trick.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
