i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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