***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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