I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
