He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
