saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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