I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
