I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
