I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize