Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
