I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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