I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
