I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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