yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
