aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
