ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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