I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
