I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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