I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
PANTIES FOUND
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