It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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