she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
