Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Randomize
