he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize