Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
