I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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