You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
