Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
