can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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