Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
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