I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
