If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
