I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
