I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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