careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
