so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize