My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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