I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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