The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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