What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
