Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
