He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
