Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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