quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
