FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
