I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
