Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
