We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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