i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
