garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
