the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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