Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
