Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
