I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
