Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
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